The Gypsy

Remember the adage, "Don't forget where you came from"? I carry that around--all the time, I guess.

I've been living overseas for almost 8 years now. I'm blessed with a beautiful family and a good life. When I cleaved for marriage with my foreign fiance in 2004, that meant I had to leave my loved ones, my job and my country behind. But, I never stopped looking back.

Our search for better or best of opportunities brought us to different countries--a necessary evil for my husband whose expertise in finance is more in demand offshore. A daughter was born to us in 2006. She started traveling by plane when she was 1 month old.  

I would meet my parents and siblings in biennial visits. Coming home carries both the exhilaration and agony of waiting. The longing for that familiar fervour between me and my parents; the kulitan (joking around) with my siblings; shopping in tyangge (bazaar) in Greenhills or Antipolo; the tricycle; jeepneys, sinigang (sour stew); and Jollibee chickenjoy!

I get excited when a passenger would shout, "Manong, bayad po!" I'd gladly reach for the coins or bill and pass it on to the driver or his sidekick. And pass back the change if any. What I don't understand though is why other passengers would play deaf ears for the call when it's actually fun to pass the fare! (smile).

I was home last year with my daughter. Visiting our parents' home reminded me so much of my young life. The furnitures are the same; the vintage curtains; the painting hanging on the wall; the closet with some of my old clothes hung; and the smell--all are long-familiar. Everything was the way it was 8 years ago. The only different was me. Somehow I felt I don't belong there anymore.

The time you spent away from your family is the time you'll never get back. We went to newly-built malls; binged on street snacks; visited relatives; splurged on bargains; even stayed up till morning catching up. While I enjoyed most of my time with them, part of me was sad and pensive at the moments I've missed from their lives--and all that they had missed in mine.

I have always been very close to my mother. The days passing by so quickly left me feeling heartbroken. When the day came for us to leave, her eyes spoke vividly of her sadness, but always in her most gracious stance. In her customary fashion, she would leave the house with Tatay ahead of time so they wouldn't see us leave for the airport. We all know Alisha and I have to go back to the man waiting for his family, too.

Whether I can come back home for good remains uncertain. But, I will never forget who I am and where I came from.