Hafu

"Mom! Mom!" yelled my 6-year-old as she saw me at the lobby of the karate center. She strutted along with her other friends toward the place where parents wait, and gave me a whale of a hug!
 

"Ali, who is she?" asked a very curious little guy next to her.

"She's my mom." Alisha replied.

He looked at me as if sizing me up, scratched his head, and told me his name. "Nice to meet you, Mrs Banerjee." (What a nice little fella!) As though an ice breaker, his mother and I began to speak to each other. We spoke briefly about some motherly stuff, and a few minutes later went our separate ways.

I can't count the number of times I've been asked by children and adults alike whether I am the parent or nanny of my daughter. I used to be overly sensitive and would cringe inside as I grit my teeth while thinking why they would even ask. These days I've learned to incorporate humor in the scenario. I juggle between "As far as I know" and a straight forward "yes or no." Some stutter and leave themselves open to correction, hence, try to  retract their words. I can't blame them though. We live in the Middle East where majority of Filipinos are known to be  domestic helpers--including nannies, drivers, cooks or all-around helpers. Don't get me wrong. I have so much respect for these people who chose to work in this field. I don't pass judgment on them. Most of them are educated, some less, and come from good family backgrounds, but for one reason or another, chose to support their families back home in this way.

Being biracial is not a new phenomenon. We now live in a generation where there are more kids born to parents with different ethnicities. Alisha is one of those great kids. She has indistinguishable Indian features. She didn't get anything from me except the straight hair and the not-flat nor high-bridged nose. Those big round eyes, long lashes, thick brows, and beautiful caramel skin are all from her dad. My mom would always tell me, as if a broken record, "Alisha is a little Indranil." I would laugh because it's true. And I'm glad she is. 

She had taken her father's citizenship since birth, so she's holding an Indian passport ever since. Whenever we travel outside Bahrain, the passport and security control officers from here and the Philippines don’t quite get it. They look at me and my daughter, from my daughter’s passport to mine to hers and then back to mine again, and try to figure out how my daughter is related to me and why she is with me at all. Every summer vacation to Manila, I would always be held longer for more questioning, like, ""Why are your last names different?" And, "Who is her father?” And, "Can I see her father's passport copy?" And, “Where is her father?” And, “Do you have a letter from the father saying you can leave the country with her?” (Consulate services here require a no-objection letter from the father in obtaining tourist visa to the Philippines. Please don't take offense. I’m uber glad and thankful they do check rigorously, for kidnapping reasons. They do quite a great job in that aspect.)

Alisha had been asked, too, by many on different occasions, what her citizenship is. She'd reply without hesitation, "half-Indian, half-Filipino." Every now and then people would further probe which food she likes best, which country she likes to visit most, and push a little further more if she had more Filipino friends than Indian friends. I mean, c'mon, guys. My child is aware she can have the best of both worlds! Chicken Biryani one day, Chicken Adobo the next. We, Filipinos, at most, eat six meals a day. My husband being a Bengali and a foodie himself, doesn't mind adopting that concept at all. Alisha enjoys variety just as much as her dad does. It's actually a surprisingly, comfortable set up. As to how many friends Ali has...a lot! She has no problem mixing with different kids of different nationalities at school.

There are many layers that make up a culture. And that makes both my husband and I unique on our own. What we bring to the table as far as our family is concerned are set of values that are centered at the solidarity of our family.

People are interesting. I will never try to attempt to change how people think nor what they should expect or accept. I choose to have it easy.